Do your children sleep in?
Do they say "yes mommy." and do what they are told without whining?
Mine do not.
Sigh.
If you are wondering why your children don't do these great things like whining and getting up early, you can bring them over and Ellie and Tripp can show them the ropes.
They are pros.
When Matt left for work this morning, he stared at them both and said,
"No whining and No talking back."
That about sums it up.
Then he told them he really likes me and he doesn't want to see them hurt me.
That's sweet.
And they sweetly said, "Ok daddy."
They obey him better.
I've decided it's because he can spank harder and he's not here as much.
I'm sure that's it.
If by chance you do have a whiner, I have a suggestion for you.
If you have a kid that gets up early, I do not have a suggestion for you.
You need to give me suggestions.
I can't do mornings.
Don't be mean and say get over it.
I've tried.
It's just not my shining moment.
We put them to bed at 7:00, so I can't really put them to bed any earlier.
And they get up earlier the later I put them to bed.
Weird.
So...back to the whining.
The Bible study I am in is magic.
Betsy Corning has the best advice and one liners to say exactly what you mean and get the job done.
That's how I role.
In my head at least.
So, when you have a whiny kid...in any situation, that won't stop nagging or talking back, you simply say,
"No means no."
And you teach them to say,
"Ok, mom."
Neat huh!
If you say yes, (which I tend to not say as much), you teach them that your yes means yes.
Having your yes be yes means you can't just flippantly say yes to things.
You have to remember you said yes and follow through.
They catch on when you don't follow through and learn to second guess your answers.
We've been practicing for quite a while.
It works.
When it doesn't, it's because I'm so tired and feel very rundown with their constant questions and nagging.
I have a daughter that loves the last word.
I love the last word.
That doesn't mesh.
So, you have to say no means no very calmly.
It doesn't work if you scream it and stomp out of the room.
Nope. Not at all.
Shocking isn't it.
And don't forget to make them learn to say,
"ok, mom."
That's key too.
To know they acknowledge what you said and have listened and obeyed.
When you learn to do this, Ms. Betsy says it helps a lot when they are older.
They learn to trust your answer without you as the parent having to explain exactly why you came to the yes/no conclusion.
When they ask to spend the night at someones house and you say no, guess what they say.
"ok, mom!"
In front of people!
Wow.
She said it works.
I'd like to meet her kids, but still, it has to work at least sometimes with the average kid too.
So.
That's what we've been practicing over here at the beverlin household.
We just learned about rebellion last Tuesday.
awesome.
yikes.
I'm still a little speechless.
And I'm glad I'm not there yet.
So, there's your parenting advice for the day.
Try it.
I promise it'll help.
And if you already knew this.
I'm not sure why you didn't tell me sooner.
"Let your yes be yes, your no be no." Matthew 5:37
*And thanks for all the comments on my last post! Sometimes I wonder if other moms get this tired and overwhelmed or if it's just me. So I'm glad you can understand!...and at least someone thinks the eggs are funny!*
4 comments:
We have dealt with that with Eli! Aaron has done a good job of teaching him that very saying; "Ok Mom!" He is doing a lot better. I'm hoping it's an age thing and that we'll be aout of it in a few years! :) Hang in there! You are definitely not the only one!
Rachel - my kids are early risers too (and yes - putting them to bed later only makes them get up earlier and be grumpier the following day!). And, like you, I'm not a morning person. I keep telling myself that someday - most likely when they're teens - they'll be great at sleeping in. I guess we'll have to learn to like coffee until then?
it's hard having two so close together right?! it's like they feed off of each other too. ohhh, the attitudes and the whining and no sleeping. i feel your pain! and i need to remember that ... "no means no" and "yes means yes" ... OH, and the best part ... "okay mom". :)
I typed a really long response yesterday and lost it, thanks to my 3yr old. I just wanted to say that I think every mom of smallies goes through what youre going through, your kids are definitely no worse than anyone elses!! Mine (aged 3yr and 1yr) are hard to get to sleep and then won't stay asleep at night and then everyone is grumpy the next day, with alot of whining and complaining. I don't usually comment on blogs but I just wanted to recommend the book "Discipline without Distress". I could talk all day on this subject but I won't :-) Do you get out by yourself at all? Its really important to get out by yourself in the evening for a few minutes as often as you can manage it. And remember, its very easy for other people to remember thier children differently, to say "oh my children always said yes mom when I spoke to them in public". NO ONE@S child does that all the time, it doesn't make the parents bad parents, it just means the little one is learning and testing and developing like God intended. I enjoy your blog, keep it up :-)
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